Knicks Fans and Their Fantasy World

If I’d ask you “Can you name every player in, let’s say, percentage range of 0.5, Phoenix Suns? or even Boston Celtics?”

Your minds boggled like a minute and rumbled a few names until you stumbled upon 2^nd unit or last bench player. You’d say “I know that guy with a headband and always does this and that.”

For Knicks? You won’t have such a problem naming until you’d reach the Knicks locker room. That’s how far the Knicks fan’s fanaticism goes. Every game when Knicks leads the opponent by +20 points, you’d hear chanting from the stadium every player name sitting on the bench. So don’t you wonder there’s still one person left to be named after all? I think you do. It’s Mike Woodson! You might be wondering when it’s an appropriate time to chant “We want Woodson on the floor!”? I couldn’t think of any time better than when Knicks having quarters break, an array of cheerleaders marching to the floor, dancing left and right, shaking their hips like so much crowded in the subway. Woodson then come to the floor and made a move with his shining head, I can see the two commentators’ conversation going:

Mike Breen: “ Clyde, even the his players can’t believe what he’s doing.”

Clyde Frazier: “Yes, Woodson providing evidence. Watch this, move to the left, move to the right, Woodson, shining and balding” (usual Fraziasm usage of words)

Typically there are two commentators for every NBA game. The function of one commentator is to talk about the live event on the floor, every move, pass, shot instantly. The other one is kind of like functioning as an analyst to describe the player’s motive or at least the performance of each player and overall game in general. In this scenario, Mike Breen is the former and Clyde Frazier is the latter. You’ll be familiar with Frazier’s commentaries like  

winning and grinning

swishing and dishing

pounding and astounding

swooping and hooping

slicing and dicing

It’s like rhyming with every possible ball movement and players tactics. The last punchline to my face was after I heard Frazier saying Shumpert’s “Kleptomaniac activity” made the opponent’s team seem weak. I mean…..I’m flabbergasted with the word choice and no where in this world can I lay my claim on benefit of having studied GRE*.

GRE* = Graduate Record Examination which is required for graduate students in their MSc or PhD application, especially in the US.

If I ask you what is the most significant feature you’d recognize when you see Shumpert on the floor? nope, that’s not it. It’s not his shining thick lip or his stealing maneuver. The first thing you would notice is his shoe color. It’s ORANGE!. Similarly, Jeremy Lin occasional blue shoe as well. I recall one commentator, don’t remember his name, apparently describing he wouldn’t dare to wear those strange color basketball shoes if possible. You know what he’s referring to. So it came up to my fancy thinking that how would it look like if Amare Stoudemire is supposed to wear Hello Kitty shoe? Just imagine. Every power forward player tends to show their masculinity and power by ferociously dunking the ball if opportunity arises, and then clenching their teeth, flexing their muscles, fisting tightly and then yelling “arrrrggggghh…” in front of supposedly media-frenzied cameramen crowded near the basket. Just imagine when Stoudemire showing his masculinity with Hello Kitty shoes. There’s gonna be wild – wildest dream of every possible fan. I can see Mike Breen and Frazier saying

Mike Breen: “Cylde, what a beautiful dunk by Amare.”

Clyde Frazier: “Yea, Mike, it’s Amare Stoudemire. He’s been catalytic lately. Watch this. He’s just standing there. Once he’s got the ball, time to shine on. Pounding and astounding with ….ugh…hello kitty?”

Anyway that’s my fancy thinking of Knicks lately and features of the Knicks players and the game. I’m sad to hear that Amare having bulging disc problem and Carmelo groin injury being on the notice, while Jared Jeffries having knee injury and Jeremy Lin on potential knee injury, all I can hope is things will get better soon.